


A New Chapter

by The_Jade_Goblin



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, mentions of past!kaidan relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Jade_Goblin/pseuds/The_Jade_Goblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus had never seen Shepard cry before. But she's only human. He'd foolishly let himself believe that wasn't the case, now he has a crying Shepard on his hands and no clue what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> my first Mass Effect fic!

Garrus had never seen the Commander cry before. He knew it was a perfectly normal human reaction to hurt or upsetting circumstances, but he’d never seen it happen to Shepard. Honestly he thought that she _couldn’t_ cry, because if he had the capacity to cry he’d cry like a baby at some of the things they’d witnessed. But Shepard never did.

Garrus, like the rest of their crew, just knew their Commander as a solid rock, an unbending pillar in times of crisis. She never broke and you could always depend on her, she was strong and unbeatable, even death couldn’t keep her down for long. But she was human too, and Garrus should have known better. Dammit he should have known!

The Commander was something special – to them all, in one way or another – but especially to Garrus. When she’d died he hadn’t known what to do with himself, he felt lost and broken and just…empty. He’d gone to Omega, hoping to revive her spirit by living on in her actions as a vigilante, but that didn’t go so well. He knew that his methods would not have been Shepard’s, Shepard was an honest woman, she was good and wholesome and Garrus was…not.

So he played hero in the wake of her shadow, hoping beyond hope that he could somehow live up to her legend. Even after all their time together working to take down Saren, Garrus was just as blind and ignorant as the rest. He’d foolishly let himself believe the lie Shepard told herself and everyone around her – that she was stone, unaffected by anything and totally collected.

The only one who perhaps didn’t think that was Kaidan – and even Kaidan didn’t get to see much of the Commander’s softer sides, or if he did he never spoke of it. Garrus always liked Kaidan, he bore the human no ill will despite the fact that Shepard was enamoured with him – that wasn’t Kaidan’s fault, how was Shepard to know of his feelings if he never said anything?

Garrus regretted nothing in life more than not telling Shepard how he felt about her. At first, he hadn’t wanted to risk their friendship, Shepard after all was his best friend, his only friend, and he wouldn’t let that get taken away by his silly infatuation. Then it became about Shepard herself, she was with Kaidan and Garrus wouldn’t dare think of tearing them apart with his own selfish feelings.

Then, she’d died…and there was no one to tell. Then, as he sat there staring down his sniper scope, waiting for death at the hands of the mercenaries, he’d seen a flash of fiery orange hair, that familiar N7 uniform, and that unforgettable face. Shepard had come back to him, by some miracle she was there, walking and walking and _living_ in front of him. It had taken all his strength not to blurt out his love right then and there. And then, it had been simply he hadn’t had the time to tell her. Well, that was a lie he was totally avoiding the subject, but there was some truth to it.

They were so busy rounding up another team and tracking down the Collectors that they hadn’t the time for idle chatter like they’d had on the original Normandy. Garrus felt guilty for not having enough time for Shepard like in the old days, for just like her he was uneasy aboard a Cerberus vessel, surrounded by unfamiliar crew with questionable motives. Shepard needed a team she could trust, which was why Garrus had joined up with her again among other reasons, she needed a familiar face around, and Garrus could be that for her. She knew she could always trust him. Maybe that’s why he was the first to see her cry, perhaps the only one to see her cry.

He hadn’t meant to see her in such a state, it had been an accident. He came to her quarters to deliver a report, and through the door he heard the strangest of sounds. Was that…sniffling? He opened the door, and took a few steps inside. Shepard was curled up on the floor near her bed, head resting on her knees, sniffling quietly and hiccupping every so often with tears. Garrus had never felt more heartbreak than when he did as he watched Shepard in such a pitiful state.

“Shepard?”

“Garrus!” Shepard shot up at the sound of his voice, hurrying to wipe her eyes with her hand. “Wh-What are you doing here?”

“I came to report…I – I can go if you prefer…” Garrus stammered.

“No that’s perfectly fine, report away I was just…just…” Shepard’s eyes lowered as her voice trailed away.

“Are you alright Shepard?” Garrus asked tentatively.

“Yes of course! I’m at tip-top condition, don’t worry about me Garrus, I’m as tough as a krogan you know that.”

“Yes but krogans don’t cry,” Garrus said.

“I’m not – I’m wasn’t –”

“Shepard.” Garrus cut in, unconsciously moving closer to her. “As your friend, I’d be doing you an injustice if I left you alone like this. What’s wrong? I’ll shoot the problem until it goes away,”

Shepard gave a watery smile at that. “This isn’t something you can shoot, well, you could, but I wouldn’t want that.”

“What’s the matter?” Garrus asked. “Who, or what, has upset you so much?”

Garrus hadn’t realised how close he’d gotten to Shepard until she was looking up at him and was barely a few inches away. All at once the tears came back, and though she struggled to keep them in, she ended up lunging forward into Garrus’s arms. Garrus froze, not knowing what to do. He knew little about human emotion, but he’d seen Shepard comfort crying people before, and slowly, awkwardly, he looped an arm around her waist, then the other, until he was cradling her against his chest, resting his chin lightly on top of her head as she cried. It felt good to hold her, it was a shame she was so upset but it still felt good to be able to offer some comfort to her. When the tears died down, she pulled away from him with a sheepish, embarrassed smile, and sat down on her bed.

“Sorry about that Garrus,” she muttered, voice hoarse from crying.

“I don’t much about comforting a human, I hope I…did alright.” Garrus replied, coming to sit beside her.

“You were great, sorry for putting that on you.” Shepard said.

“Care to tell me what’s wrong now? Do you want to talk about it?”

Shepard sighed. “I suppose I should. I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about it, all the others have gone their separate ways…you’re the only one left Garrus, just you and Joker…”

“Shepard –”

“Please, Garrus. You can call me Dani,” Shepard interrupted. “I think what we’ve been through together gives you the right to call me by my first name,”

“Dani,” Garrus gave the equivalent of a turian smile, and Shepard smiled back, happy to hear her name for the first time in years. “Tell old Garrus what’s wrong,”

Shepard’s eyes grew dark, and she looked down at her hands.

“Seeing Kaidan again…was more painful than I thought it would be…” she murmured.

Garrus remembered that mission. Horizon hadn’t been all that long ago after all, and Kaidan’s reception of Shepard had been less than friendly, to say the least. It must have hit Shepard hard.

“He looked at me like I was a demon…” Shepard went on. “Like he’d never seen me before. He was so angry…he doesn’t trust me anymore. Why won’t he trust me? He knows me, he knows I wouldn’t be doing this unless I had no other choice he should know that, he should know better…and now when I need him most, when I need him on my team and by my side he abandons me, not even thanking me for his life, and claiming I’ve changed too much to pick up where we left off.”

“Shepard…Dani…forgive the insubordination but…may I, speak my mind?” Garrus asked.

Shepard nodded, and looked up at him.

“With all respect to Alenko, anyone that turns their back on you after everything is just not worth your tears. You haven’t changed a bit, you’re still the same Shepard we all knew and loved, and if he wants to play the victim and act as though you’re the enemy, that’s his problem not yours. I like Alenko, he’s a good soldier, but right now he’s not a good man. Not for you anyway. If he was a good man for you, he would have trusted you to make the right calls, and followed you anywhere, Cerberus or no. You…you deserve better than that Dani, don’t let the past upset you.”

Shepard gave a little smile, and brushed some stray tears from her cheeks.

“To me, it was like yesterday.” She said. “But you’re right, Kaidan can’t see passed the damage that’s been done, maybe he never will. I’m just not the same to him anymore, and he isn’t the same to me. Maybe it is time to let it go.”

“He made his peace years ago. It’s your turn. A new chapter, for both of you.” Garrus supplied.

Shepard smiled. “Thank you Garrus. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for. What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn on Omega? Oh wait that was me,” Garrus joked.

Shepard laughed.

“Come on, I know just the thing that’ll cheer you up,” Garrus said getting up. “Up for a little shooting competition out on the observation deck?”

Shepard grinned, and stood up. “Are you prepared to lose horribly?”

“Ah-ha that’s what you think, but I just picked up this sweet little number last time were on the Citadel and I have to say, your pistol has no chance against her.”

“You’re on Vakarian. Loser buys the drinks on shore-leave.” Shepard declared.

As she got her guns and headed out with Garrus, the turian smiled to himself. She was looking better already, but he knew now not to be fooled by her mask. Underneath she was still hurting, and she would be for some time to come. He wouldn’t tell her just yet, not with that wound still healing, but soon. Soon he’d tell her. He could only hope she might one day feel the same.


End file.
